Back to Reality

Last week was my first week back to work in 3 months with FLMA. I was so nervous about going back. Wanting to make a strong impression I must have tried on 3 different suits and blouses. The second I stepped out of my car I started to see my colleagues who were so happy to see me and gave me huge hugs. This meant so much. In my absence over the summer people move positions and there’s always change. I wanted to embrace the change and do my best.

I returned to work under a new boss who has different expectations. Okay, no problem, I can accept. I can learn from anyone including myself. Bottom line I’m thankful to be back doing what I love. Life changes all the time, you adapt and learn.

It’s been awhile since I’ve read for fun but I had the opportunity to reconnect with my true values. This unexpectedly came in the form of mindfulness and meditation. These two practices have dramatically changed my outlook and helped me stay centered during difficult periods. There’s professional and personal growth and I believe that both are needed to succeed. Sometimes it’s important to make sure you’re ready and have a parachute before you jump. In the past I think I’ve wanted to jump without a parachute that may or may not have opened and I may have made it. However, what this cancer experience has taught me is that you can slow down, stay present and enjoy the moment. Am I saying I’m always centered? No, but the more practice I have the easier it becomes.

At home, Joshua’s been attending a therapy program -(free!!) that provides age appropriate information about when one of their parents have cancer. During both my rounds it affected him the most. He knew I was in pain but couldn’t understand why. He’s starting to ask a lot of questions and we’re having good conversations. It’s group therapy so all the kids ages 5-15 can attend. Joshua has enjoyed both sessions so far and it’s taken some of the fear and uncertainty off his shoulders. That’s been a huge relief and a time to bond. My youngest, David isn’t ready yet. Maybe next year but not yet. And that’s okay.

New books I have read/ am reading:

“Present Over Perfect”*******

Maria shriver’s “I’ve Been Thinking”**********

“The Power of Now”

“When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Difficult Times”*******

“The Four Agreements”

“Loving-Kindness: The Art of Happiness”

*******Highly recommend