Three rounds of Opdivo and Yervoy took it’s toll. There were multiple side effects (too many to list but it was bad) and most days I walked around like a zombie. The symptoms started to show themselves and I was exhausted everyday. The simplest tasks took so much energy. Your favorite foods have no taste and all you can do is sleep and hope it gets better. Couldn’t eat anything but saltines and Gatorade for a week. During the time I lost 24 lbs on the immunotherapy. The first round wasn’ bad, but it slowly kept building up in my system. For those who don’t know the chemo drugs are expensive. Without insurance it’s $25k per infusion treatment, big ouch. There’s also only a 60% chance that it’ll work.
One evening, one of my friends from middle/high school called and said screw it, let’s go to a Paris for a week. We had been through 6 years of French in school and had always talked about making the trip. Without any hesitation I said yes. Usually she’s half way around the world working on her PhD in Australia, but would be home for a family wedding. After some discussion and costs involved we decided on an Eastern Caribbean cruise. It was perfect timing. This trip would only be the two of us and allow time to spend together. I honestly didn’t know how further treatments would affect me and if this would be by last trip for a while. As much as I’d like to go scuba diving or hiking I didn’t have the energy for it. The cruise boat made sense so we could make our own schedule and not be rushed. Besides that why not start saying yes. If I had a few months, a few years, or more why not start saying yes and start living! It felt freeing and I promised myself to more time to enjoy the journey rather than race to the end.
I set up my calendar and before I knew it, it was here. A week off during the school year is something I’ve never done and not having a cell phone caused me some anxiety. Some folks said I shouldn’t have taken the trip and it was selfish. Honestly I needed a break and time to get away to prepare for whatever uncertainty came next.
After the cruise I felt refreshed and ready for the third round. Unfortunately the side effects got considerably worse after the third round and I was unable to get out of bed much less work. Throughout the whole process it’s felt like two steps forward and one step back. I stayed in bed for three weeks before my MD Anderson appointment to receive scans and see if the immunotherapy drugs had made an impact. There was nothing to do but wait.
Courageous Perseverance 